The Other Shoe

Right now, my life is roses.  In ways that it hasn’t quite been before.  I look around and it is all floating along ok.  Nothing is in distress, as a matter of fact it would appear that it is quite the opposite.  In the last few weeks of my 23rd year, it is starting to become an amazing year.  I have two fantastic jobs, I have all the luxuries that come with my first world life (clean water, a running car, new computer), I have amazing family and friends, I have been offered the job of my dreams, and I’ve just gotten  back from an amazing conference in Tampa, FL.  I mean seriously, who’s life is so amazing that they had a fan-freaking-tastic CONFERENCE experience?  Yet here I stand.  And I know you’re reading this about ready to vomit at the sunshine bursting out, but hold on to your vomit.

The biggest of all of these is the new job/life change.  I have been recently invited to be a Mission Intern through the United Methodist Church.  This sort of thing is what I have wanted to do for the past several years, and now it has come to fruition.  I cannot believe it.  Honestly I’ve been living with this exceptional news for an entire week and I still cannot believe that it is my reality.  In a few months I will pack my bags and move to a country to live for the next 17 months and then to a city in the United States for 17 months.  The more I think about it, the more firmly I believe that I have to be dreaming.  This cannot be my life.  When grown ups talk to you about your life and what it will look like when you become an adult, this is not what they tell you.  This isn’t (at least in my family) even presented on the scope of possibilities for life paths, and yet here I stand at the precipice of embarking on this mind blowing journey.

It still isn’t really real to me yet.  I tell people and I’m so excited, but in the midst of it all I still have to get up and go to work in the morning.  See the same people and do the same things.  Somehow it is as if this missionary thing is a dream and every morning when I awake it is gone as quickly as I open my eyes.  Also, being the Erica that I am, I also find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I told my aunt last night that this offer is contingent on passing health screenings and suchness, and I told her that that is where the shoe will drop.  This thing that I’ve been offered I feel is almost too amazing for me, so I am waiting on that shoe.  The shoe that keeps me planted in Rock Hill for the duration.  Let me tell you, I hate that shoe.  In my life, there’s always something there tying me to my past, tying me to things that are holding me down.  I am waiting on the other shoe because it has been my experience, and tonight, I’ve decided to shake it off.  I will no longer be waiting for the other shoe because I know that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be, and there is no other shoe for that.

I have been affirmed by being accepted to the program.  So I’m going to shake it off, and I’m going to dance!  I hope you will too!

Florence and the Machine–Shake it Off



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