Have I mentioned that I have four amazing siblings? Today I was talking to one of them, Gabby, and we were talking about life. I went first with my grievances, then she chimed in with hers. I am the fixer. I am the oldest, so when there’s a problem, I am the one they come to. To say I cherish the responsibility is an understatement. I love being there for my sisters, and I love that they trust me enough to council them in the ways of life. Gabby is almost 22 and, like most of us in the pre 25’s, is still trying to figure out where this life should lead her, and what that is going to look like. She was telling me about some offers she’s had to move on from the Spartanburg area. Her old boyfriend wants her to move in with him in Florida (not my first choice for her), our other sister would like her in Alabama with her, my family would like her in Texas with them, and my mother and her friends would like for her to stay in The Burg. Wow that is one wanted chick! Why wouldn’t she be, she’s basically amazing!! (If I do say so myself hehe) In talking about all of this today she kept saying that she didn’t want to disappoint anyone. She could never disappoint me. I love my sisters unconditionally and I would do anything for them, I think they make stupid stupid decisions sometimes, but never am I disappointed. There’s no room for disappointment in my love.
I kept saying, ‘well what do you want to do?’ That’s the million dollar question, what do you want to do? Not what does mom or your friends want, but what do you want? In a world where we are expected to look, dress, eat, and be a certain way, sometimes we lose sight of ourselves. Of course there is the other side of conceded folks that can’t see past the end of their noses, but that’s a whole ‘nother (I’m embracing my southern 😉 ) blog post. Gabby of course didn’t have an answer. Many folks are unable to live their lives without weighing the opinions of those they love and trust. We are in general people pleasing folks. I’ve often heard things like ‘my parents being disappointed in me is worse than when they’re mad’. We don’t want to disappoint, and it’s hard to be ourselves and find our way if we are always trying to make everyone else happy. I have made some decisions in my life that my family hasn’t always ‘approved’ of. They don’t want me to be taking my life onto a path of potential financial insecurity. I mean what loved one does? It has taken them a long time to come around to the idea, but the love and support I now feel from them has greatly humbled and comforted me.
So where am I going with all this? Well, Kermit said it the best, “It’s not easy being green.” It’s easy being exactly who you are, a christian, sister, mother, husband, father, a frog… called to ministry, medicine, or teaching. We all struggle to keep true to ourselves, and I challenge each of us to go forth and accept what we are called to do and where we are called to go. It is not easy being green, but boy is it worth it!
The Muppets–Kermit the Frog–It’s not that Easy Being Green