I was chatting with a good old friend last night, till 4 AM… never again…., and we were talking about all of this crap that is happening. He’s concerned, as is his whole family and most of my friends that know, and to tell the truth it makes me feel less crazy for being concerned/upset when other people don’t look at me like I’m crazy for being shaken. Either way we were talking about the prospect of losing my ovaries. This is a very real concern at this point because they are huge, and I feel certain that they are going to have to take part or all of one or both of my ovaries. Apparently my aunt (father’s sister), Criselda, had a similar problem, minus the polyps, in the years before she had her first child, and when they went to remove the one that she had they had to remove part of that ovary. She had some difficulty getting pregnant, but she now has two wonderful (well wonderful is a subjective word) children.
I’ve been wondering though, not that I have ever wanted children, and if they want to take the ovaries they can have them, what man would want a woman who couldn’t bare his children? I mean isn’t that the whole point here? Most men want their own kids that are their flesh and blood. I would be perfectly happy, even if we weren’t talking about the loss of my ovaries, adopting a bus load of kids if I could, but would a man be equally as happy? Would he be willing, if it does become the case, to throw out his chances at procreating? Men are wired for that kind of thing. I know if you were to ask any of my male relatives, they would tell you that they probably wouldn’t be willing to. Now that is also kind of the mexican thing, must have son, must carry on family name and blood line rah rah rah… My father still throws it in my uncle’s face that he had a son (it only took him 6 tries to get there…).
On the other hand, who’s seen the movie Erin Brockovich, sooooo good! There is a part in that movie that is kind of sticking with me in a bad way. I thought about it last night when I was talking with Josh. In the movie Erin is dealing with a family that has been basically ingesting poison through their drinking water. The mom of the family has lost both breasts and all of her girly parts, and she asks Erin, “I don’t have any breasts or ovaries. Am I still a woman?”. I know it’s crazy but I am kind of feeling her pain right now. If I don’t have the inside parts that make me a lady, then am I still? At this point Josh made a comment about how he could check for me… Silly boys, but it’s a valid question. I know right now, Meg is reading this and rolling her eyes at my lunacy, but today it’s how I feel. I know I will still have my breasts (but boys can have them too, I’m just saying), uterus, cervix, and not to mention the most amazing tushie known to man, but if I’ve lost the ability to “do my job” as a woman, ie bringing new life to this planet, then do I still function as a woman?