Waiting

So since my last post I find myself in a period of waiting.  Waiting to hear about opportunities, waiting to see where I’m going to live, waiting to see if I am going to be able to go to Nicaragua, waiting to put in notice at work….  waiting waiting waiting…  This is the hardest part.  I find myself waiting to see what is going to happen and during this period I am full of a million emotions.  I am completely overcome with saddness for thinking about leaving my current job, but everyday I walk in there I walk out counting down the days till I can leave.  I am trying to reconcile myself to realizing that the HarborChase I now work at is not the EdenGardens I started at.  Things are ever changing, evolving, and warping…  On the other hand I am so excited about the opportunities that have contacted me.  Right now there are two that seem very interested in me.  One is working with St. Bernard Project in New Orleans, LA., and the other would be in Cowlitz, WA working to fulfill the needs of that community.  I am so very ecstatic about the thought of working with either one.  I have my first interview with St. Bernard’s Project tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 and am aflutter with jitters.  On the one hand they could decide not to take me, and if that is the case then I will certainly understand and focus on the other prospects, but what if, by some miracle of God, they decide that they want me?  Oh my mercy…  Just the thought of it is freaking me out.  The start date for that organization is August 2.  The second of August, just over a month away.  In just over a month my life could be upside down.  Yikes!  On the other hand what if they accept me, and then after I say yes the WA state program accepts me?  Really I would prefer the WA state program, it just sounds more like me than the other.

Now that you’ve read the above rant, you know that I am certifiably crazy, but there is a light at the end I promise.  Meg and I were talking about her AmeriCorps experience last night and about faith, destiny, and fate.  I know that I have to just pray, and have others pray, for guidance. I need to leave it in the hands of the Lord.  I am not sure that I have the capasity to do that, but I am going to try my best.  I am all tore up about this interview for tomorrow, but at the end of the day I’m going to say what I say, be myself, and if it’s meant to be it will be.  All I can do is give God the chance to work through this situation and show me how this is all supposed to work out.

I do hope He shows me soon though, I’m going crazy over here.

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