Two years ago I went for my very first girly appointment, and when I got the results of the tests we found some irregular cells so I had to go back for a colposcopy (not a colonoscopy two completely different uncomfortable procedures).  It came back that I had some precancerous cells and needed to have another colposcopy in six months.

I never went back.

Was this a coward’s move?  Sure.  I will admit that I was terrified of having cancer, if it developed to that later.  Really I am terrified of medical procedures in general.  I don’t like needles, I don’t like the thought of being put to sleep.  I have never been seriously ill in my life.  Only been hospitalized twice, once for trauma, and once for less than 24 hours.  I am a coward.  Recently, though, I have been having this crazy pain in my lower abdomen.  My insides are falling out at the moment, but the pain is not really crampy pain, and my period has been so weird and different than it has ever been.  I know that this could be completely normal, but I am worried.  I have decided though, that I am going to get it checked out.  I am going to follow through.  I may even go back to the dr and get another colposcopy and see what’s going on down there.

I’m tired of being a coward, if my campus minister, Narcie can get a brain tumor removed, I can at least get checked out and be a big girl.

I really hope I’m not too late.


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