The Things that Make up a Life

As I look around my room at the books, mirrors, and scarves I feel dread.  ’Do I really have to go through all this stuff?  Do I really have to get rid of it?’  In two months I will be leaving for training to become a Young Adult Missionary through the United Methodist Church for the next three years.  I have decided to sell everything I own before my service begins.  Everything…  This is of course excluding clothing and things I just cannot lose.  All of this dread, and yuckiness I feel as I think about sorting it all makes me think about the things that make up a life.  I have heard before the phrase, ‘these are the things that make up a life.’  What things?  The high school year book?  The textbook from the first class you took in college?  Your first Bible, rosary, or pictures of your ex boyfriends, are these the things that make up a life?  And if they do, what part of my life am I losing when I get rid of them all?

The thing is is that I think this is a very American view:  the thought that possessions make up a life.  Perhaps I’m wrong (it happens all the time.)  As much as I would like to think that I am unaffected by my culture, that I am and individual free thinking hippie girl (as my father would say), I can’t help wanting to hold on to all of this crap.  All of the markers, magnets, and rocking chairs.  Everything I look at has a memory or the potential for future memories.  These things hold a lot of my firsts:  kiss, dance, boyfriend, best friend, ironing board, the first time I lived on my own, job, and the list goes on.  The things that make up a life.  In a culture that places so much value on material goods, what happens to your status when you get rid of it all?  Some have told me that they think what I’m doing would be freeing.  ’Oh it must be so great to know that you won’t have that stuff holding you down anymore.’  But those same people, that think it would be soo freeing, I bet wouldn’t be willing to do the same thing.  I bet they would never consider getting rid of everything they own, especially with no plan to retain new stuff.  We are so stuff and status driven it is hard to think about not having all of these things. It probably doesn’t help that I am a bit of a sentimental person, and since I work with alzheimer’s folks all day I worry about my memory failing me because I’m already naturally forgetful.

Is this the stuff that makes up a life?  The answer, no.  The things that make up a life are more subtle like a soft breeze, not that your 145″ TV isn’t subtle.  You can’t hold onto the things that really make up your life. They are fleeting moments in time, memories of experiences with those you love and the prospects of new memories.  That is what makes up a life.  All of the firsts, habits, and one time only memories are what we should be clinging to, and we should be clinging hard.  I read in a book recently (if I can remember the title I will later share) that the narrator knew a man that carried a notebook with him, and every time this man remembered something he wrote it in his notebook.  How remarkable that notebook must be.  Could you imagine if your grandparents kept such a notebook?  What things would you read in that chronicle of their life?  Do you think that they would want to cling to their cars and houses, or to the notebook at the end of the day?

All of my things will be sold at a yard sale on Saturday, and I will be ready for it in one way or another.  I have no option, it’s gotta go.  This in no way makes me less than super stoked about my new life path, and after I come home on Saturday and see all of my belongings gone with this room so much emptier than today the reality of my new future will be really real.  And though I will lose my stuff, I will still remember my first kiss and the plot of Pride and Prejudice.

The Other Shoe

Right now, my life is roses.  In ways that it hasn’t quite been before.  I look around and it is all floating along ok.  Nothing is in distress, as a matter of fact it would appear that it is quite the opposite.  In the last few weeks of my 23rd year, it is starting to become an amazing year.  I have two fantastic jobs, I have all the luxuries that come with my first world life (clean water, a running car, new computer), I have amazing family and friends, I have been offered the job of my dreams, and I’ve just gotten  back from an amazing conference in Tampa, FL.  I mean seriously, who’s life is so amazing that they had a fan-freaking-tastic CONFERENCE experience?  Yet here I stand.  And I know you’re reading this about ready to vomit at the sunshine bursting out, but hold on to your vomit.

The biggest of all of these is the new job/life change.  I have been recently invited to be a Mission Intern through the United Methodist Church.  This sort of thing is what I have wanted to do for the past several years, and now it has come to fruition.  I cannot believe it.  Honestly I’ve been living with this exceptional news for an entire week and I still cannot believe that it is my reality.  In a few months I will pack my bags and move to a country to live for the next 17 months and then to a city in the United States for 17 months.  The more I think about it, the more firmly I believe that I have to be dreaming.  This cannot be my life.  When grown ups talk to you about your life and what it will look like when you become an adult, this is not what they tell you.  This isn’t (at least in my family) even presented on the scope of possibilities for life paths, and yet here I stand at the precipice of embarking on this mind blowing journey.

It still isn’t really real to me yet.  I tell people and I’m so excited, but in the midst of it all I still have to get up and go to work in the morning.  See the same people and do the same things.  Somehow it is as if this missionary thing is a dream and every morning when I awake it is gone as quickly as I open my eyes.  Also, being the Erica that I am, I also find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I told my aunt last night that this offer is contingent on passing health screenings and suchness, and I told her that that is where the shoe will drop.  This thing that I’ve been offered I feel is almost too amazing for me, so I am waiting on that shoe.  The shoe that keeps me planted in Rock Hill for the duration.  Let me tell you, I hate that shoe.  In my life, there’s always something there tying me to my past, tying me to things that are holding me down.  I am waiting on the other shoe because it has been my experience, and tonight, I’ve decided to shake it off.  I will no longer be waiting for the other shoe because I know that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be, and there is no other shoe for that.

I have been affirmed by being accepted to the program.  So I’m going to shake it off, and I’m going to dance!  I hope you will too!

Florence and the Machine–Shake it Off

 

Rock Star

With big eyes she suggested, “Let’s go meet Adam Hamilton.”

Me:  ”No thanks, you can go.”
Friend:  ”YOU DON’T WANT TO MEET ADAM HAMILTON?”
Me:  ”Not really, but you can.”

Stolen from a tweet on #gc2012

Friend:  ”But he’s a rock star!”

 

I have spent the past few days quietly observing the United Methodist General Conference in Tampa, FL.  It being my first time here, and me having little previous knowledge about the ins and outs of it all,  I haven’t said too much.  It’s not like me right?  I am taking it in, soaking up as much as I can trying to retain all the acronyms and names.  I had the great pleasure of running into a good friend of mine after some fireworks went down at the end of one of the sessions, and she asked me with great big excited eyes if I wanted to meet Adam Hamilton.  Rev. Hamilton is a United Methodist preacher, and is currently located at The Church of the Resurrection in Kansas somewhere abouts.  He is the pastor of one of the biggest (if not the biggest) church in our denomination.  He has multiple campuses and a huge staff and all kinds of things.  This church is HUGE.  Rev. Hamilton is well known (but of course) throughout the church, even to me, a nobody.  Yay for him.I am sure that Adam Hamilton is a wonderful man.  I am sure that he is a great preacher.  A good husband, good father (if he is one), good Methodist, and all sorts of other good things.  This is not an attack against him.  Here’s my question, how is it that a friend of mine and other folks see this preacher as a rock star, shouldn’t the only rock star in the room be Jesus?  This man would be and is nothing without the God he serves.  I am sure that he puts God at the forefront in his church and in his dealings, but people do view him as some sort of idol in that they want to recreate him.  They want to grow their own mega churches, and the model they are looking at is that of Adam Hamilton.  I personally do not like mega churches for so many reasons, but that’s neither here nor there (many people do find God there, and I think it’s great for those who love it).  I think perhaps I just need to know that Jesus is the only rock star.  He is my rock star.  I am sure that Adam Hamilton is a great man, and it would appear that he has done a good thing in Kansas, but he is not the rock star.  He shouldn’t be the reason that we go to church or want to grow mega churches; Jesus is our rock star, He is the reason that we go to church, and if we feel that the spirit is leading us to grow our church in such a radical way then that credit goes to Jesus too (or the Holy Spirit ya know).  I think that is a big reason why I believe in the itinerant system, that way when you think of your church, you think of the body of that church.  You go there to find your community and God, not a preacher, the congregation and the spirit’s presence, not a physical man or woman.

So I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy, but it happens.  What do you think?  Rock star or no rock star?

HELLO!

So I woke up this morning singing Book of Mormon and I thought I’d share it with you!!!

“Hello would you like to change religions, I have a free book written by JESUS!!”  Hahahahaha  me gusta

Book of Mormon, Hello!

Finding Jesus

So I happen to be in love with Gungor.  I think the music is odd, in a good way, and that they try to step outside the bounds of what stations like New Life 91.9 presents to the Charlotte area as Christian music.  It is bomb ass music.  I love it.  To that end, Wesley reserved some tickets to a local show he was playing.  Winning!!  It was AMAZING!!!  The opener, The Brilliance, was also pretty great.  I love kick ass cello players.  Either way, it being the end of the semester and all, we had a few extra tickets because students are busy and stressed out.  Knowing an old friend was interested in joining I invited her along for the ride.

A few months ago I applied for a Young Adult Missionary position with the General Board of Global Ministries through the United Methodist Church.  I was selected for an interview in New York at the end of March, and I am….not so patiently… awaiting the results.  Of course the longer I wait the more I think they are NEVER going to choose me, but oh how I wish they would!!!  It would be the most wonderful thing of which I could ever be included.  This friend that I asked to join us at the concert, proof read one of my essays for the application, and on the ride up was inquiring about the potential new position and what the interviews were like ect.  She then said something interesting.  She said, ‘wow that would be great!  You’d get to bring Jesus to the world.’  My friend means well, but I have some serious problems with that statement, the following outlines some of them.

1.  Can I pack Jesus in my suitcase?  I will be taking a lot of clothes, soap, and batteries with me, I don’t know if Jesus can fit in the suitcase.  Do you think that airport security would have a problem with Jesus being there?
2. More seriously, as far as I know the only being I am taking anywhere is myself.  No cats, dogs or sisters.  I’m taking me.
3. Speaking of the world, as far as I know I will be in two places.  That hardly qualifies as the world….
4. The reason I’m only taking myself, Jesus is already there.  This ‘job’ wouldn’t be about bringing Jesus anywhere, it would be about finding Him everywhere.  About seeing the handprints of God on this Earth.  God is everywhere, He is already among people that are hurting and delighting, people that are poor and rich.  God is there.  We call God omnipresent for a reason.

I think that part of the problem with the way that missionaries have been and are viewed is this thought of them bringing Jesus to these ‘other’ people.  The problem with that is that I don’t see mission work like that at all….  Perhaps my thoughts are incorrect, but I see mission work being about finding Jesus.  Growing deeper in your own faith while among others.  I think it is also about showing and finding the unending love and compassion of our savior.  You can show it and find it by serving with mutuality among those in your new community.  So should I get this dream position, I hope to find Jesus, to find that my faith is strengthened through an authentic presentation of God’s presence on this earth; because we are called to go out and seek the people of this earth to behold and to be a witness of God’s love for us all.  Or at least that’s what I think…..

Pruning

So a couple of weeks ago Winthrop Wesley journeyed to New York City for four days.

A week or so before that I had purchased some new strawberry plants…

When we went to NYC, I left the plants in the very (or so I thought) capable hands of my friend, Austin.  When I returned the plants had been burnt to a crispy brown…  I mean like crunchy leaves in the fall crispy.  She was sure there was no way they were making a come back, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let these plants die on my watch.  So I over watered them for the past two weeks, and then suddenly I started to see resilience.   You see though these plants had crispy fritters for leaves, the stems were still green.  A glimmer of hope!  Then I started to see new growth coming from the soil, and today I saw some new strawberries starting to form.  HOLLER!!!

STRAWBERRIES!

Today I was pruning off some the dead stuff, and I was thinking about how this is kind of like our lives.  Sometimes we have to prune off the dead stuff.  The stuff that can be strangling us or keeping us from sprouting new fruit.  There are habits, people, stubbornness (guilty as charged), and things of the sort that infiltrate our lives and start turning the edges brown.  They start to kill off the healthy fruit bearing parts.  Unlike my strawberry plants that tried to perish rather quickly, this typically happens over time.  It creeps in on you until one day you realize that you have some dead leaves and might need to start doing some pruning.  Only after a good pruning can regrowth start.

This of course makes me think of all of the Palm Sunday services I went to today.  I know what you’re thinking, what do you mean all?  I attended 3 services today because I had to talk to some congregations, but that’s neither here nor there.  There was a lot of talk about making amends before Easter Sunday.  About getting our hearts in the right place before the celebration.  I mean that’s what Lent is all about right?  It’s about intentionally drawing nearer to God during these 40 (46 to be exact, but Sundays don’t count) days to prepare for Easter.  I would say that that is the biggest part of our Lenten observance.  Traditionally, as I understand, people withhold things from themselves for these 40 days.  They prune those things away.  Why?  Well because to draw closer to God we have to leave something behind.  That something can be very abstract sounding like time.  You leave a little bit of time you would spend on the computer behind for time to spend reading your bible.  It can also be something very tangible like drinking, smoking, sassing your mom.  I am sure there is a better, and more churchy, explanation for why we give stuff up at Lent, but for me this works.

So I hope that you have found some pruning to do in your life during Lent, and some how drawn closer to God.  If you didn’t give anything up, that’s great too.  I am going to intentionally look inward during this week to see what brown edges need to be pruned from my life.  Where could your life use some pruning?

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Have I mentioned that I have four amazing siblings?  Today I was talking to one of them, Gabby, and we were talking about life.  I went first with my grievances, then she chimed in with hers.  I am the fixer.  I am the oldest, so when there’s a problem, I am the one they come to.  To say I cherish the responsibility is an understatement.  I love being there for my sisters, and I love that they trust me enough to council them in the ways of life.  Gabby is almost 22 and, like most of us in the pre 25′s, is still trying to figure out where this life should lead her, and what that is going to look like.  She was telling me about some offers she’s had to move on from the Spartanburg area.  Her old boyfriend wants her to move in with him in Florida (not my first choice for her), our other sister would like her in Alabama with her, my family would like her in Texas with them, and my mother and her friends would like for her to stay in The Burg.  Wow that is one wanted chick!  Why wouldn’t she be, she’s basically amazing!!  (If I do say so myself hehe)  In talking about all of this today she kept saying that she didn’t want to disappoint anyone.  She could never disappoint me.  I love my sisters unconditionally and I would do anything for them, I think they make stupid stupid decisions sometimes, but never am I disappointed.  There’s no room for disappointment in my love.

I kept saying, ‘well what do you want to do?’  That’s the million dollar question, what do you want to do?  Not what does mom or your friends want, but what do you want?  In a world where we are expected to look, dress, eat, and be a certain way, sometimes we lose sight of ourselves.  Of course there is the other side of conceded folks that can’t see past the end of their noses, but that’s a whole ‘nother (I’m embracing my southern ) blog post.  Gabby of course didn’t have an answer. Many folks are unable to live their lives without weighing the opinions of those they love and trust.  We are in general people pleasing folks.  I’ve often heard things like ‘my parents being disappointed in me is worse than when they’re mad’.  We don’t want to disappoint, and it’s hard to be ourselves and find our way if we are always trying to make everyone else happy.  I have made some decisions in my life that my family hasn’t always ‘approved’ of.  They don’t want me to be taking my life onto a path of potential financial insecurity.  I mean what loved one does?  It has taken them a long time to come around to the idea, but the love and support I now feel from them has greatly humbled and comforted me.

So where am I going with all this?  Well, Kermit said it the best, “It’s not easy being green.”  It’s easy being exactly who you are, a christian, sister, mother, husband, father, a frog… called to ministry, medicine, or teaching.  We all struggle to keep true to ourselves, and I challenge each of us to go forth and accept what we are called to do and where we are called to go.  It is not easy being green, but boy is it worth it!

 

The Muppets–Kermit the Frog–It’s not that Easy Being Green

Misery Loves Company

“and they believed.  And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped.”  –Exodus 4:31 (NIV)

I would like you to meet Diane; my former boss.  She is quite a bit older, but I have found that the best friends can be.  This woman, is quite frankly, the most amazing person I have ever beheld.  Her strength, energy, compassion, and Godliness shine forth from every piece of her.  You cannot meet Diane and not love her instantly.  I am quite sure she has never met a stranger in her life, and I strive to be more like her everyday.  I watch a lot of Grey’s Anatomy (so does Diane), and on the show, Meredith, the main character, calls Christina her “person”.  When something goes down, she goes to her person.  This is your partner in crime, not the one that you call when you’ve been arrested, the one that got arrested with you.  Though I can’t ever imagine Diane committing a crime, she’s my person.  We talk everyday on the phone, go shopping, complain about life, and help each other navigate our lives.  She claims me as her adopted child.  When I am down and out, when I have suffered, I call Diane.  Just the act of having someone acknowledge my pain, to know that someone else knows that I am going through something hard, can make whatever the situation seem that much more manageable.  We all need a person, or two, or three.  What is your person like?

This excerpt from Exodus takes place a bit after God has appeared to Moses in the bush.  God has told Moses to go out and tell the

Maybe you didn't have the shirt, perhaps the doll?

Hebrew people that God has sent him to take them to the land of milk and honey, that He has seen their suffering and has given Moses the task of deliverance.  We’ve all heard this story a lot right?  We’ve seen the movie, and maybe even (quite literally) owned the t-shirt?  Well I will say (to my discredit) I’ve never read the story myself.  During this lenten season, I have dedicated some time each day to read the stories I have always heard, and discover them new and fresh for myself.  There is so much good stuff that I could choose to write about or to notice while reading this well known story.  Yet, somehow, as I read the fourth chapter the other night, the last part stuck out to me.  There is a lot in this fourth chapter that’s important, all things I have heard before, about Moses saying not me Lord, please choose someone else, and the elders of the Israelites are brought to Moses they are shown the signs, yay hooray.  Why didn’t I pick some of that awesomeness?  Who knows?  I am just rolling with it.  Maybe it’s because that last bit is the very end of the chapter?  Either way, that’s what this post is about, like it or not.  The thing is, the verses directly preceding the one highlighted above, talk about Moses performing his signs of chosen-ness to the elders, and it is interesting to me that they chose not to worship God until Moses said that the “Lord was concerned about them, and saw their misery.”  I mean they believed Moses with the signs, but upon hearing that their suffering had been seen by the God that they cried out to; that made them worship God.

We are made to be in community with each other and with God.  We all want to feel heard, felt, and seen–both when we are rejoicing and when we are depressed.  Diane is my person, she sees through me.  She knows when I’m up and when I’m down even before I’ve told her what’s going on.  She knows me.  I know that when I hurt, she too feels it.  This is the same with our God.  We are all heard, felt, and seen by God, but I can see how maybe the Israelites didn’t know that they had been heard.  They had been held in slavery for many many moons before the event at the burning bush.  Moses shows up and says, ‘Hey, I’ve been sent to you by God to help you break free!  Yippee!!  Oh and by the way I am “slow of speech” and I am the one God chose to talk the Pharaoh into this whole deal.’  My Bible says they believed him, but it didn’t say anything about rejoicing at the choosing of Moses.  And if their God was so far removed from them, and didn’t see their suffering, how would He know what they needed anyway?  But then Moses says that they have been seen, and then they worship.  We all know the phrase misery loves company and I’m not sure that I’ve ever held that to be true.  I will say that we like to tell others about our troubles–be it a select person or the masses.  We have to be able to share our burdens with someone.  We are simply not built to go it alone in this life.  We need the comfort of being seen.  The comfort of knowing that you are not alone in this fight, that someone has recognized your struggle, and they care about it.  For me that’s why they worshiped God when Moses said what he said.  They felt seen–they felt comfort.  I thank God for the comfort He gives me each day as I stay the course, but I too thank Him for my people like Diane.  If I had to live without either of them I would be truly lost and lonely.

Pleading

So as apart of my Lenten observance I am working on reading my bible.  Let me tell ya, I have some problems reading my bible.  Is it just me?  Ehh probably.  I’ve never been a person who reads or watches something that I am easily able to quote later, and sometimes I feel like people read their bibles for the purpose of memorization.  I am a big picture kind of lady.  I want to know the greater meaning, and in my mind that may be more important than being able to quote any bible verse at random.  Now, that is not to say that I don’t think that there is value in being able to quote some passages.  To be able to recall passages to use in life, and with others is a great skill.  All that to say, I am trying to read my bible more not for memorization, although that would be super, but in order to draw closer to God as we approach Easter.

Caution:  The ideas expressed here are solely of Erica’s brain matter.  I do not, and probably will never, speak on behalf of the United Methodist Church, as they would probably be embarrassed to have me speaking for them.  
As Methodists, I’ve been told, we believe that the Bible is the living word of God.  Which, to me means, that these aren’t words that were once relevant to lives, they are words that are always relevant.  They hold meaning to us, in some way, now as they did then.  Whether to teach us a lesson or give us insight into our humanity.  I have also heard someone say once that every time they read the gospel it says something different to their soul.  How at one time or another this word stands out and changes how they think of this passage, and then the next time they read it this other word jumps out and their perspective is once again changed.  So when I read my bible I try to ask myself:  What does this passage mean?  How does this passage apply to my life?  What was the author’s purpose? Can you tell I’ve taken one too many english classes?
So, to begin this lent season I basically opened my bible.  Wherever it opened to is where I decided I’d start reading….  Is this the best plan?  Ehh probably not.  But here we go.  The other night I was in Joel.  I should say I have never read Joel.  I am not sure that I have ever even heard a passage from Joel.  Either way I read chapter one, and I’ll spare you the details, but I will say I’m having problems with the living word of God business.  What does this passage mean?  What is it trying to tell me?  Who in the world knows?  I sat the bible down and thought, “maybe I should flip to something else.”  Of course that is my first instinct, run to something easier.  But that wasn’t the plan, the plan was open it, and read.  Period.  Crap…  So I’ve done some digging, apparently Joel is one of 12 prophetic books (credit to wikipedia for that scholarly information), and here’s what’s happening, they are mourning the plague of locusts and instructing others to do so as well.  Then the next section is titled “a call to repentance”, and I’ve got to tell you nothing in this section reeks of repentance except for the holy fast bit.  Either way they call for a fast, and then talk about the destruction of the lands.  The last bit:  Joel 1:19-20 “To you, O Lord, I call, for fire has devoured the open pastures and flames have burned up all the trees of the field.  Even the wild animals pant for you….”  has got me thinking about desperation.  When was the last time you were desperate for the ear of God.  There are all kinds of times that we feel like God has turned from us, and we beg for his notice.  We beg for change.  For me, I beg God every single day for all kinds of things that I am desperate for in the moment, Dear God, pleeeeeeeeeeease let this person go faster!!  Dear God, please don’t let my phone die, please don’t let my phone die, please don’t let my phone die…  Dear God, I can’t find my keys, where are my keys.  I’m going to be late, God, where in the world are those keys?  PLEASE HELP ME FIND MY KEYS!!!  Perhaps I misuse my begging….  I mean does God really care about my keys?  I mean for crying out loud, this is the creator of the entire universe we are talking about, and I am begging Him to help me find my keys.  Is that a wasted prayer?  The answer…  who knows?  I do think that God cares about everything, and that He probably does what I do when I’m watching movies–yell at the screen.  He’s probably saying, “What do you mean where are you keys?  They are right there, can’t you see them?  Right there under the shirt.  Stop looking on your bed, they are over there.  What are you doing?!  Stop begging Me to find them for you, just look under the shirt!”  I find that I don’t truly deeply implore God very frequently, but when I do reach that moment, that tipping point, the very act of begging is emotional.  If I am at the point where I am begging God for mercy, love, compassion, healing, I am most definitely about to lose it, if I haven’t already.  I am not one to lose my composure frequently, but somehow God will always get me to unravel.  It is at that point that God listens most intently.  Then God isn’t yelling at the movie screen but He is with me in my pleading, He is crying with me.
I know that we have all been in times where we have felt like our “storehouses in ruins, the granaries have been broken down, for the grain has dried up,” and I am here to tell you, God hears your pleading.  He may not answer it in just the way you think He should, nor as quickly, but He hears you.  Even when it’s about your keys.

Tom Conlon has this great song called Leaning and I think it has an important word about our weak times.  God sometimes shows His presence through the people He surrounds us with because sometimes we need the physical touch of our community.  I will not try to deconstruct the song, Tom says it so well.  Enjoy.

Tom Conlon, Leaning
 

Preach

I happen to be in love with Mitch Albom’s books.  I read Tuesdays with Morrie awhile back and (being the gateway drug that it is) that lead to The Five People You Meet in Heaven.  Now I am on to Have a Little Faith, and I am in love, of course.  Maybe it’s too early to decide such matters as love, but I’ve been told when you know you know, and boy do I know.  Every chapter has been laced with something that I feel like I could expound upon something that I could chew on.  So I will probably do an entire series of blog posts on this book as I try in vain to not read it too fast (I mean really it’s only 249 tiny pages, I could read that in a night).  A bit of back story to catch you up to where this blog post meets the book.  Mitch (it’s based on a true story) has been asked to do the eulogy for his Rabbi at the church he’s been attending since he was a child.  Here’s an excerpt that I would like to share.

“Besides, how much do you know about your religious minister?  You listen to him.  You respect him.  But as a man?  Mine was as distant as a king.  I had never eaten at his home.  I had never gone out with him socially.  If he had human flaws, I didn’t see them.  Personal habits?  I knew of none….”

I think perhaps I live in a very interesting place in the church.  Through Wesley I have become well connected in the UMC world here in Rock Hill.  I know many of the leaders by name, I have watched their kids and fed their cats.  I feel though that many church members might have a similar experience to Mr. Albom (I could also be crazy).  Before I was a part of Wesley, I had never had a significant relationship with or knowledge of any of my religious leaders at churches past.  I had seen them up on the pulpit, greeted the before or after service.  But I didn’t know him.  In the next ‘chapter’ (it’s not really a chapter, more like a heading separating thoughts) he talks about going to the Rabbi’s house and how though things were very normal (he lived in a house with a doorbell, and was wearing sandals and bermuda shorts)  it all struck him as odd.  ”Where else could he live?  A cave?”  I wonder what I used to think about my pastors.  I feel like though this experience may be common it shouldn’t be the case.  Our leaders are just as much a part of our community as our friends are, and what is a pastor but a learned friend?

Tim acting a fool

I have come to know during my many years at Winthrop Wesley the father of my boss, Tim McClendon.  Tim happens to be the District Superintendent for one of the districts of the Methodist Church in the South Carolina conference.  At first this was a very formal relationship.  He would ask me about school, I about the family–you know, typical acquaintance speak.  Then something happened.  I grew closer to the family and I had more encounters with this pious man of God only to realize on a mission trip to Nicaragua that he is quite possibly the silliest man I have ever met.  I work with college students all day, and yet this much older man is the silliest person I’ve met–that’s saying something.  He is so personable, goofy, and caring.  These things help me respect him and his thoughts more.  Doesn’t knowing a person do that?  He thinks it’s important to know people, and he is by no means “up there” with the rest of us residing “down here” lower than the almighty Tim McClendon.  I happen to know that we can’t leave him alone in Wesley, he will break something.  He likes diet coke, loves his grandkids, is a diabetic, can swing a mean pick axe, and he is also has the deepest love for God that I have ever witnessed. It is so far removed from the relationship that Mr. Albom has with his Rabbi, and I think these kinds of realtionships are soooo important.  His son, also a UMC preacher, has these days where he has “lunch with Preach”.  Knowing our clergy folks in a personal way, I think, is so super important.  You see that they have “human flaws” (as do we all), trials, you get to know the person, while knowing that your learned friend is there to help you through you crisis in a very specific way.  The clergy folks in my life that I have relationships with help me find the good and light even when I’m not looking for it.  They help through a crisis and a volleyball game.

I am so fortunate to know the entire McClendon/Jeter family, and to call them friends.  I submit to you both a challenge and a question.  I challenge you to draw closer to your clergy leaders.  Take them to lunch, or buy them coffee and maybe you will find a human in your pulpit next Sunday instead of some unreachable man/woman of God.  And I want to know what your relationship is currently with your clergy folk of any denomination or religion?